Gotta get up to fall down. Photo by Björn Bauer.
The premise: “Stranded in the Backcountry” is Ibex’s mash up of the New York Times’ “Three Days In…” series, NPR’s Desert Island Discs, and our own bias for skipping out on society every now and again. Whether it’s a stroke a good luck or your worst, extroverted nightmare is entirely up to you.
Who: Björn Bauer. Skier. Climber. Photographer. Sometimes in that order, sometimes not. Colorado native. Ibex influencer. Potential life coach for Kanye West. Generally out for good times. Sometimes fully clothed, sometimes not. Self-described “swashbuckling outdoorsman and intrepid adventurer.” We second that description.The only details we we might add are gastronomic genius (!!) and questionable literary taste. Read on.
A quote from Björn that pretty much sums it all up: “Maybe a deep fryer and alcohol wasn’t a great idea, but it’s too late to look back now.”
Ibex Question (IQ): Of all the real or metaphorical desert islands in the world, where would you choose to be stranded?
Björn Bauer (BB): Backcountry hut in winter
IQ: How do you feel about three days alone?
BB: I wonder who’s going to win at Monopoly.
IQ: You get to pack one piece of outdoor gear. What do you bring?
BB: I would bring along Coleman’s Propane Fry Well deep fryer, because everything tastes better deep-fried. [Editor’s note: Amen, Mr. Bauer, amen.]
IQ: What luxury item do you pack?
BB: Since I’ve already set the pace with a deep fryer, my one luxury item would be a Dark & Stormy kit. Some healthy ginger beer and high-octane rum would go a long way to keep my sanity and sedate my rambunctiousness.
IQ: How do spend your days in solitude?
BB: My main mission would be to try and not get hurt. Maybe a deep fryer and alcohol wasn’t a great idea, but it’s too late to look back now. Step two would be snow angels, followed closely by finding Waldo.
IQ: What book do you hope is on the bookcase?
BB: Where’s Waldo: The Fantastic Journey. Hands down the greatest literary venture of our age.
IQ: There’s no Internet, but there is a working CD player. Which album (or three) do you hope is on the shelf?
BB: Anything by Lana Del Rey. Her music makes me feel like I’m in a damn movie.
IQ: On the flip side, which song – if played on endless repeat – would make you run naked and screaming from the hut after three days?
BB: Tik Tok, by Kesha. That song is the whole reason I got stuck in this hut in the first place.
IQ If you could have anyone in the world join you, who would it be?
BB: I think I’ll get in trouble for not saying my girlfriend, but Kanye West would be great to have around – just to watch him struggle with life things.
IQ: What’s the first thing you do when you return to civilization?
BB: The first thing I would do is go to the florist and buy a nice bouquet of flowers for my girlfriend – to make up for not bringing her to my hut.