This is the time of year when Vermont and our New England brethren are thrust in the national spotlight for little more than our natural beauty. It’s time for fall colors and that means leaf peepers. Honestly, it’s so objectifying. Can somebody please get John Oliver on it? We could use a little bit of his pageant indignation.
Of course, we appreciate the tourist dollars. And, yeah, we’re just as floored by the annual color explosion as anyone. We welcome 99% of the peepers who are out for some country air, artisan cheese and harvest season goodness. It’s the other 1% we’re talking to today: the smidgeon of the population that manages to trivialize an entire region and its rich and varied culture as “quaint.”
We’re not pieces in a diorama, people. We don’t go to New York City and adopt some backcountry dialect. Nor do we point and coo in mock sweetness over your primarily black wardrobe. So members of this particular 1%, please listen when we say:
- Please pay attention to your road “choice.” It’s true that a good percentage of our land is rural, and that means long driveways can confuse the distracted driver into ignoring all those private property signs.
- All large houses are not B&Bs. Please don’t let yourself in, ask about vacancy, or wonder if our morning muffins are gluten-free. If you didn’t see a “bed and breakfast” sign, leering through the windows to check out the quality of our bedding is straight up creepy.
- Get over the plaid. Along with high quality knits like a fine Ibex Merino, it’s on-trend this fall. Just ask Harper’s Bazaar.
- We encourage you to bring a camera and capture the glory of the scene. It just gets a little weird when you’re aiming in our front yard or shooting me leaving the grocery store for…you know…“local color.”
- We’re not all hippies, so we’re not swimming in those well-worn hippie clichés. (Though, you may try Colorado for next fall.) We love our craft beer, our local produce and our landscape, but that doesn’t equate to a free-love commune. Our Woodstock isn’t the one of 1969 infamy, but is home to great food, killer mountain biking, and the original Ibex HQ.
- Bonus Tip: Please save “wicked” as a modifier for when you crossover the New Hampshire border.
Enjoy your Vermont leaf peeping vacation.