El Niño Forecast via The Weather Network
Lest we get ahead of ourselves considering the first official day of winter is still a few weeks away, so far El Niño is turning out to be El Nada. Unseasonably high temps are sweeping the entire country. The Southwest, which was primed to reap the biggest weather rewards from the warm Pacific Ocean, has a big, fat “H” sitting over it on the meteorological map. And, even though we in the East weren’t expecting much, can we be forgiven for sighing out a collective, “Come on!?” It feels like May.
It’s too early to give up on El Niño. Maybe all this weather pattern needs is a strong advertising campaign? You know…something to build its confidence and get people pumped about a big, cold, snowy winter. The local weather guy needs to stop harping about “how nice” the temps are for December, and help the PR effort to sway public opinion toward a side-eyed disdain for the “unseasonably warm” mercury readings.
We’re a boutique wool shop from Vermont, not Mad Men in skinny ties drinking scotch before noon. But to get the ball rolling, here’s our humble suggestion, with obvious (and full) respects to the good minds of Dos Equis. Cheers.
El Niño: The Most Interesting Weather in the World
Oceans warm just by being in his vicinity. His laugh has the power to change the atmosphere. North, south, east and west? His ideas.
As a baby, he walked at one month; he wrote poetry in each of his 60 native Zapotecan dialects; he sang in French. When he was three, he counseled the Dalai Lama in the art of meditation. They re-sculpted Michelangelo’s David after seeing him surf at 20.
Piñatas of his likeness can’t be broken. Of course, even children stop swinging the bat when faced with the choice of his face in tissue paper, or candy falling from the sky.
His house cat is a jaguar. Lucho libre wrestlers wear masks and tights to honor his mortal, superhero ways. He invented guacamole.
He is El Niño: the most interesting weather in the world.
Get snowy, my friends.