According to some really smart people (NASA) not currently employed by Ibex, as the Mayan Calendar expires on December 21, 2012 absolutely nothing will happen…except maybe another boring Winter Solstice. Phew!!! Glad to get that out of the way.
Now that we are all on the same page, imagine yourself in an alternate reality where galactic alignment is imminent and chaos is about to ensue. Now consider any regrets you may have, not the least of which is taking the time to read any and all credible Internet preparedness guides about how to survive the End of the World. As of this blog post, the countdown here at Ibex has begun and the end is nigh. The following is a synopsis, Ibex-style, of NASA’s answers to the scariest questions asked this side of Nibiru (See: fictional wayward planet that “may” be on a collision course with Earth at year’s end).
Is the Earth in danger of being hit by a meteor in 2012?
Heck yes!!! But, the Earth has been subject to impacts by comets and asteroids since the days of the Big Bang, and it has been a mere 65 million since the last catastrophic strike. For now, NASA promises there are no big strikes on the radar, but if there were, a scenario you would not likely want to be a part of would impart. Honestly, only one natural fabric comes to mind that could handle both extreme heat and cold that would surely follow a strike coloring the sky black. We suggest a versatile Wool Aire piece to get you through those toughest of days, and to make sure your fate does not become that of the dinosaurs of yesteryear who could not tough it out in the absence of wool.
Is there a danger from giant solar storms predicted for 2012?
No, not unless you are a satellite or an astronaut currently floating around space. Solar flares that erupt from the sun can shorten the lifetime of solar cells on satellites, and it can damage electronics. Who knew floating around space all day was such a dangerous job. Good luck – satellites can’t help you here. For those of us stricken to life on Earth, consider yourselves safe…for now.
Does the possibility of a polar shift occurring before the end of 2012 pose a risk to us?
The possibility of a geologically rapid shift in the poles, followed by a reversal in the rotation of the Earth is just plain silly. The cataclysmic pole shift hypothesis does not hold much weight, especially when backed up by disaster websites that incorrectly establish a relationship between magnetic polarity of Earth and rotation. Earth has routinely and politely flipped its polarity over the millennia, but the geologic and fossil records have indicated no ill effect. On the other hand, Ibex employees themselves are actively anticipating a pole shift, as the prospect of having our minds blown by what the compass is telling us is just too much to handle. Considering that the poles are currently migrating at near-snail pace, we at Ibex encourage going about business as usual. Therefore, we suggest investing in any Balance piece in our Base product line, for year-round adventure in all climates and scenarios, including dodging zombies. Bonus points go to Woolies on Doomsday, because we imagine all will be perspiring profusely en route to your safe house, panic room, or tree hollow, and nobody likes that cold, clammy feeling once at rest. Woolies will wick moisture, dry fast, and will likely mask the inevitable stench of fear on your skin.
If all else fails, and before the Internet goes offline for good, rent a copy of the 2009 blockbuster ‘2012’ to get an idea of the skills necessary survive pure lawlessness and the end of the world. Pay special attention to the actions of one Jackson Curtis, played by John Cusack, as he demonstrates just how to survive the Earth imploding upon itself. John if you are reading this, which I expect you are, give us a ring (or tweet) and share some insight on how we can all survive this big mess we call the Apocalypse.
For now, we leave our readers with this final piece of advice, which reads more like a suggestion. If you were living in world that was soon to spit lava from its bowels, have fissures open up directly beneath your feet, and tides rise at biblical rates, wouldn’t you want something next to your skin, on your back, and around your waist, that was versatile, lightweight, durable, odor-resistant, flame-retardant, sustainably farmed, and 100% compostable? If yes, then we here at Ibex are your one-stop shop for all things world changing.
Good luck this December 21 and remember to walk tall in your wool during the end of time.