Groundhog Day: The Sheep Chronicles

Breaking News: February 2nd may come and go relatively unnoticed by most of the world, unless: a) it’s your birthday, b) you live in Punxsutawney, or c) you’re a sheep. February 2nd is Groundhog Day, one of the most polarizing rodent-based holidays of the year. Everyone has a fervent opinion. See your shadow; don’t see your shadow. The back and forth can be exhausting.

While we look forward for six more weeks of deep snow and iced over ponds, Ibex sheep have been diligently working up their fleece in preparation for spring shearing. You know how warm Ibex Merino layers are? Now imagine pilling ‘em up a good six-inches thick and being told a pampered groundhog would be determining your comfort and heating for the next two to six weeks.

We support quality working conditions, and word in the field is that our cloven hoofed friends are thinking about unionizing. Their sole demand is that a sheep be present with the groundhog when it comes to shadow dancing on February 2.

“Imagine if you’ve mentally prepared and physically trained for the Olympics,” said a Rambouillet/Merino blend sheep from Montana who wishes to remain anonymous. “You set your schedule to peak at the perfect time. Then, a few weeks before you’re practicing your national anthem for the cameras, a hedgehog walks out of a hole in the ground and decides you won’t compete for another few weeks.”

When pressed on the issue of “hedgehog” and “groundhog,” the sheep stared at us blankly.

“We’ve had all we can take and we’re not gonna take it no more,” he explained. “We demand a place at the table. How can a rat determine the weather, the tilt of the axis, the very temperature that determines what we wear for six weeks?”

When pressed on the issue of “rat” and “groundhog,” the sheep stared at us blankly

So the final question for the sheep uprising was regarding the preference of many sheep in colder climates to keep their wool sweaters for the entirety of the winter – until the threat of chill had sufficiently passed.

When pressed on the issue, the sheep stared at us blankly.

* Latest Update:Apparently, the union organization has hit a stumbling block due to a lack of global unification. When North American sheep tried to rally their New Zealand and Uruquayan brethren behind the anti-Groundhog Day banner, the southern hemisphere sheep stared back at them blankly.