Ibex sincerely honors the true meaning of Memorial Day and those who’ve given their lives in service to the country. Today, we also honor – albeit with far less sincerity – the quotidien meaning of the holiday: Three! Day! Weekend!
You know that guy: the one who is going to fit absolutely everything into the first big, holiday weekend of summer. He’s going camping, SUPing, BBQing, climbing, mountain biking, beer-drinking, gardening, kayaking and to every game of his kids’ round-robin lacrosse tournament games. There are three days away from the desk this week, and dammit, he’s going to pack every, darned minute of them.
Cheers to living life to the fullest, but trying to squeeze too many “good times” into the Memorial Day weekend is like getting arrested on New Year’s Eve (or on any day while not wearing a shirt): cliché city. There are a few telltale signs of the do-too-much guy. By way of public service, we identify the glaring symptoms of FOWW (fear of wasting the weekend), so you can avoid being that guy come next Tuesday morning.
Symptom #1: Wicked sunburn with completely unnatural tan lines. You’ve worn so many hats this weekend, that the only consistency is the lack of sufficient SPF. Bike shorts, flip flops, PDFs, tank tops… you may be changing your gear like rapid-fire, but the beating sun revels in its consistency. For most of us, Memorial Day marks the first time in the calendar year our winter-protected skin will see the light of day. If you’re that guy, remembering what’s covered with sunscreen from activity to activity will be harder than remembering the complete numbers of pi.
Symptom #2: Exhaustion, marked by awkward aches and pains. Yes, you finally have the time to do the long ride you’ve been putting off. Question if it’s wise to clock in a century when the entirety of your spring training rides has totaled three, post-work 15-milers. Just sayin’…
Symptom #3: Wally World or Bust. Mild-mannered Clark Griswold lost his ever-loving, single-focused mind when his plans didn’t pan out exactly how he anticipated. Now, while his breakdown made for one of the single greatest, NSFW lines in crackpot history, take a note. When all points aim away from your beloved Wally World, try to go with the flow.
Symptom #4: “What did you do this weekend?” “Nothing.” Achieving absolutely nothing – or going no further than brunch – over Memorial Day weekend rarely stems from lack of ambition. Typically, a relaxed weekend at home comes either by intentional design or the complete opposite: analysis paralysis. There’s so much pressure to Instagram the ideal “sophisticated outdoor man” weekend that sometimes we crack under the pressure. In the paraphrased words of the Dalai Lama: chill out. It’s a three-day weekend, not the apocalypse. Fit in what you can and enjoy what you’ve got.
Here’s to a three-day weekend that won’t wreck you for the week. Happy Memorial Day.